I.
John Piper,
prepositional griper,
thinks the chief end of man
is best said with “by,” not with “and.”
II.
R.C. Sproul
(God rest soul)
still sounds from the steeple:
“What’s wrong with you people?”
III.
Rob Bell
wrote a book about hell.
His comparably notable feats include
surfing and eating Mexican food.
IV.
John MacArthur
(excuse this lark, sir)
is somehow still a dispy
though he preaches expositionally.
V.
Kevin DeYoung?
His praises are sung
by godly men and women
and his 12-and-counting children.
VI.
Douglas Wilson
[redacted]
(Sorry, y’all — I’ve got a good one here, but it’s not suitable for polite company.)
VII.
Tim Keller’s
New York Times bestsellers
won’t help you stay
off the third — no, fourth! — way.
VIII.
Russell Moore
had a good run before
he caused plenty of heartburn
with a center-left turn.
IX.
Mark Driscoll
scuttled Mars Hill.
They did that one podcast,
but he’s still kind of a badass.
Josh Bishop Writes 