Kids these days

Today, I read in an article that 12-year-old boys in a handful of California counties can now place online orders for free condoms and lubricant without the consent of their parents. In other words: whether they want to or not, or are even aware of it, taxpaying parents are buying prophylactics and lube for their newly pubescent sons.

The article features the sad tale of Juan Bautista, a high school senior and teen father:

When Bautista was having sex with his former girlfriend, he said condoms were not a priority. ‘I would go into a store, but end up buying a soda,’ he said.

Remember the good ol’ days? Back when we could expect randy teenagers to abstain from soda consumption and actually pay for their own condoms at the five-and-dime? Presumably, Mr. Bautista’s compulsive caffeine habit is meant to reassure me of the necessity of the Condoms For Preteens program. (I remain unconvinced.)

But on a lighter—and more grammatically literal—note, that condoms are not a priority and that one went to a store and bought a soda are strange things for a young man to say when having sex.

Yet that isn’t the only time Mr. Bautista opened his mouth to say something he probably shouldn’t’ve

“I love my son,” Bautista said. “But sometimes I wonder what my life would be like without him.”

The consequence of teen sex is why the California Family Health Council expanded its free condom distribution program to Fresno and San Diego counties.

We wouldn’t want our teens (is 12 teenaged now?) to live with the consequences of their decisions, would we? This sentiment—regret of a lifestyle lost—is a common and natural (if usually unspoken) one. There’s a reason it remains unspoken, especially in the pages of the local newspaper. I only hope young Consequence Bautista doesn’t figure out how to use the Google when he grows up.

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